I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
