nut hugger
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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