i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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