if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
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