Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
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