I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Randomize
