His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
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