you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Randomize
