Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
