Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Randomize
