Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Randomize
