I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
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