I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
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