At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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