I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
