tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
I stole a fireplace last night.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Randomize
