Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
