I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
