I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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