She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
