How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
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