You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
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