He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
Randomize
