he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
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