wrigley field is MILF paradise
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Randomize
