Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
