so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Randomize
