Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Randomize
