He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
Randomize
