She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Randomize
