Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
