Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
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