Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Someone came in the potted fern
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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