The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
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