I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Randomize
