Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
