I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
I have feelings that need drinking.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize
