So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
Randomize
