So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
