I like my sex mixed with concussions.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Your cock deserves a montage
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
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