Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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