but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Randomize
