Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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