i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Randomize
