It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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