so explain again why im purple
no
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
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