U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
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