You work out of a Hotel?
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Randomize