why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Randomize
