Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
I think my moral compass just broke
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
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