Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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