That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
