ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
