Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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