Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Randomize
