Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
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